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Did Eric Trump Plan the Pandemic?

(Send this to the 20 people you love MOST!! in the world)

· humour

There are so many excellent and very convincing conspiracy theories being shared, I thought I’d try my hand and see if I can gain a little traction in click-bait whilst we're all spending way too much time at home in lockdown. But I also just want people to know.

Bear with me, because this takes a little explaining, but once I’ve unpacked them, the causal links will be really clear, and you’ll realise why it is that they haven’t told you, and WHY THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW!!

You might wonder how I know this stuff, but I think it’s pretty obvious, and I can’t believe that other people can’t see this stuff. Well Mossad can, but they’re not going to make it public are they?

Eric with his brother Ivanka at a rally. The masterminds of the global Covid-19 plot, or what??

Something like Covid-19 doesn’t just happen. It’s not like it wasn’t planned. Forget the G5 towers, that’s too obvious. That’s what they want you to think. No, there has to be a reason why my Instagram influencer career has stalled and I'm living in a garden shed with high-speed internet. So let’s use reason.

Close your eyes and think pangolins, China, hunting, hairdryers, and big pharma. Well no, don’t close your eyes because this is meant to OPEN YOUR EYES to what’s really going on. I mean going on deeper than the Pope, Elizabeth II, Dr Fauci/Bill GatesGate, Pizzagate, George Soros (now there's a pedo!), the Illuminati, and the Protocols of the Elders of Zion etc. (which, incidentally, is also true because nobody’s that rich, right?).

But seriously, think about about it. Erick Trump loves hunting elephants and other forms of healthy, masculine, defenceless animal slaughter that he thinks makes him look, er... (sorry Erick) less intellectually suspect and more hairy. Here’s photos to prove it… unless they’ve been manipulated (fake news, sorry again)...

Erik's brother Ivanka (looking very much like Eric), posing with a giant pangolin which he's about to feed to some Chinese.

Anyway, Eranka Trump goes on holiday to Africa to kill animals, WHICH IS HIS RIGHT, and because killing animals actually saves them, because they wouldn’t even be there if they weren’t being killed.

Now what’s Africa full of, apart from Africans and Ebola? Chinese. Millions of them. And what do Chinese like eating? Right, wild animals. And who kills wild animals? Eric(a). And if we don’t believe that Covid-19 was invented in the Pirbright Institute, but we do believe that Eric's father owns shares in hydroxychloroquine, WHICH IS MANUFACTURED IN CHINA… then? Dah? … follow the money folks… join the dots people...

Erika and Ivanka hold Barron's pet cat, which they bravely stalked in an enclosure and euthanised for its own good (like Mexican children taken away from their irresponsible parents and put in cages), thus saving it. But nothing goes to waste! Barron's Mom will now use the skin for a new designer handbag at her next charity event for Mexican foundlings currently housed in Trump Tower. Thus saving the cat TWICE, which is real estate developer GENIUS).

And apparently inhaling the hot fumes from a hairdryer kills the virus even more than fish tank cleaning fluid or self-injecting bleach or daddy Trump's tanning lights.

So PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, copy this post into an EMAIL and SEND IT to the 20 people you love MOST in the world, because Covid-19 is viral, and you should be TOO!!

WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah rigghhht. Big pharma. How stupid do they think we are??

Note the Masonic lapel pin, the Illuminati tie on Eranka, and the fact that Don Jnr is clearly a hologram.

These people WANT you locked down.

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